Walking Around Naked

Today, I made a major mistake.  I had Coach with me in the office and I needed to run over to another colleague's office and give her some paperwork.  I grabbed the folder and picked up Coach's leash.  

"Come on.  Let's go." Coach hopped up happily enough and trotted along beside me.  We walked through the library and up the hallway.  I stepped out of the library and started to walk through the Aye Arboretum.  Across the mound, I could see a couple of faculty members do a double take at me.  I was wearing a new outfit, but it wasn't THAT unusual.  Well, they were palazzo pants, but I thought they were rather stylish, and I got them on sale for $6! (I know! Seriously! Stein Mart rocks the sales, but I digress.) Then I noticed that one of the teachers was really giving me quite a look.

I mean, a real look.  Like a "what are you doing?" look. So I looked down.  

I had a naked dog.

OMG!  A naked dog.  A visible naked dog!!  Right there in the middle of everything! Holy naked puppy Batman!

I hot footed it over to the office and dropped off the paperwork.  What had I been thinking?  Walking out of the library without his coat on?  I don't know.  It was just one of those days, I guess.  Fortunately, I was not attacked by ravening hordes of students wanting to pet Coach.  Usually, the ravening hordes come out at lunchtime and we were having wings today.

However, later in the day, I did take off his coat for some specific groups to love on him.

Two girls from Coach Daly's advisory are petting Coach.

Coach Daly's advisory got to have some personal time with Coach.

At the Homecoming meeting one of the girls gives Coach a big fake kiss.

At the Homecoming meeting, I took off his coat upon request so the girls could love him up.  He is the most amazingly calm dog at being loved by oodles of sweet girls.  Jam would have been dancing on the ceiling.

Coach rolling around with his coat off.  Coat = Serious!

But after lunch, he was feeling frisky, so I let him roll around upstairs while we weeded books and waited for a freshman class to come and pick out reading material.  Yes, they still assign fun reading and aren't I the happy librarian who works at school where teachers love reading and want their students to love it as well.  I was in heaven suggesting books to kids. HEAVEN!!!

Bored Coach lying on the carpet sleeping.

Coach was mostly bored.  I ran around finding books.  He was in a sit stay or down stay.  However, at the end of the day, we took off his coat and he proceeded to be loved by very happy students.

A circle of students all petting Coach who is lying on his back.

Lesson learned: check your guide dog puppy for nakedness before leaving the office!





Jam: Not Being Helpful

Some days there are themes.  Today's theme was Unhelpfulness. Really, Word dictionary? Unhelpfulness isn't a word and helpfulness is?  Yet there is an unhelpful.  You, Jam were unhelpful today.

Take for example, when I got up and left Jam sleeping.  Snoring actually, during the full study hall this morning.  Sure, I had hooked his leash to my chair instead of the table, but that was such a small mistake.   What harm could there be in that?  And after all, he had been so good in his stays.  Letting me go into the workroom and grab a bottle of water or pick up some paper.

I stepped over the sleeping guide dog puppy and walked into the library workroom to ask my question.  Unfortunately, that led to another question and then another.  

BAM!

I ran out into the library to see the table next to mine, which had been filled with freshman boys all standing but one.  The one was laid out with his legs extended to my former chair where he was pressing down with all his leg strength. Jam was on a tie down to that chair and was at the end of it.

In front of Jam were two upper classmen (Alison and Caleb) who told me that Jam and the chair, which, by the 47th law of physics that states that things tied to you will follow if you are strong enough to drag them, had woken up and tried to find me.  Alison and Caleb it should be noted were surrounding Jam but more importantly they were not touching Jam BECAUSE HE HAD HIS COAT ON.

So, my unhelpful guide dog puppy in training had put in action several students who had followed all the rules and been supremely successful in stopping Jam and holding him steady where he was and not violating the sanctity of the coat. 8-)

I love my students.  They are so wonderful.  I quickly relieved the freshman boy as he seemed close to expiring.  Then Jam and I took a walk.

Later, Christina and I started a weeding project.  We were trying to determine whether we had 90 feet of shelving weeded or if we still needed more books to weed.  So we were measuring with ribbon.

Jam at my feet licking the ribbon.

As we were walking around the shelves measuring and letting the ribbon flutter behind us, Jam would wait for a big curl to fall and then he would go to sleep on it as if it were a treasure to be protected with his body.  Soon enough we would come to a screeching halt as his body weight would hold us in place.

"Jam!"

Jam at my feet while Christina and I measure out the ribbon.

Sleepy, blurry, doe eyes looking up at us.  So if unhelpful isn't a word and if Jam wasn't particularly helpful, then what happened?

Wait a minute.  Wasn't there some old trope about letting sleeping dogs lie? But didn't I do that this morning? Maybe, for Jam, it's more about, sure, let the sleeping dogs lie, but make darn sure you are there when they wake up!

I Never Dreamed I Would Do It Too!

There are just some things that you don't ever imagine yourself doing.  In fact, often times, you have dreams about them.  Anxiety dreams, they call them.  Where you dream you are naked in class or in a business meeting.  How will I give this presentation without my clothes?  It's a very upsetting dream and usually indicates a disturbed mind, or at least that you are disturbed about something.  I think.  Whatever.

My dreams usually involve monsters and whales and dark water. No, those are nightmares.  Usually, really strange things happen like a baby with a golden arm appears and then something else happens.  Let's just say that once, on a hike up Sabino Canyon in Tucson, AZ with some friends we were talking about dreams and I told one of mine.  One of the girls in the group looked at me a little strangely and said, "You should really see a Jungian therapist.  They would love to get a hold of you."  Somehow that sounded vaguely threatening, so I never did go find a Jungian therapist and gradually, the whales, the dark water and monsters faded away to plain old anxiety dreams of nakedness. Like everyone else has.  I like to think that my happiness in raising guide dog puppies had fostered a sense of contentment and well being that has provided a safe haven for my subconscious to go on vacation and not have to dream up such elaborate scenarios at night.  Until today.

Two years ago I told a story about Bingo doing the poo hunch in the middle of Westshore Mall and that I picked up his 50lb self and ran him out the door (which was quite a distance away! Pretty good for an middle-aged, out of shape lady!). Crisis averted.  Carolyn then shared one of her poo stories which made me laugh so hard I though I was going to shoot coffee out my nose.  I apologize Carolyn.  I sincerely apologize.  I completely understand now why you did what you did.  But I get ahead of myself...

Today, we took the Jamster to Home Depot.  As we were walking in, I thought to myself, "It's about 3:30, he had a big pee.  That's good. Is there something else I should be thinking about?" Then my pea brain went off to think about Bed, Bath and Beyond, which was our next stop.  What did I need, blah blah blah.  We went in and started walking around.  Fred had a HUGE list of things he needed.  So I said I would go look at bathroom towel racks where I took a lovely photo of Jam as he looked at  himself in the mirrors.  I also got some cute video.

Jam, lying down, in front of some mirrors in the bathroom department.  You would think this would be foreshadowing, wouldn't you?

Then we found Fred and he sent us on this wild goose chase to find shelf doodads, and we wandered up and down aisles and couldn't find them.  We met back up Fred and it is now about 4:15.  The sweet spot for Jam as far as poo goes is right after breakfast, sometimes a 10 am poo and between 4:30 and 5:30 pm. He is REGULAR.  No fooling around.  So as we start to turn down the aisle I feel a little tug on the leash.  I look down and it's the dreaded poo hunch!

CRAP (so to speak!).  Now I have two choices: Let him poo (not a choice!) or take him out (we are far from the entrance).  But, and here's the big question: Has he actually committed himself, or is he just hunched like Bingo?

Mind you all of this is going through my head in a fraction of a second as Fred is walking off down the aisle.

What do I do?  I have to check to see if he is committed.  Otherwise I can carry him. So, I

I reach behind him.

I reach behind him and I feel for poo.

Yep.  He's committed.

In a big way.

It falls into my left hand.  Oh my God.  I have poo in my hand.  My dog just pooped in my hand.  I look up and there are people in the aisle.  Did they see him poop in my hand?  This is a real life anxiety dream only I am fully clothed and holding poo!  And my dog is going to pump out some more!

I leap up.  I can't carry him with a hand full of poo, so a RUN down the aisle with poor Jam running after me like his underwear is around his ankles.  We run as fast as we can to the exit.  Mind you, Jam CANNOT POO IN COAT.  So my main goal (aside from getting poo out of hand) is to get the coat off of him and let him shoot poo out his butt in a safe place.

Right there by the exit is an orange bucket with a garbage sack.  OMG I have to get this poo out of my hand.  I stop for a micro second to throw the poo into the bucket and in that microsecond Jam has squirted out another poo WHICH I HAVE CAUGHT!  OMG.  I throw that one away as well and run Jam out the door and over to the median grassy area and yank the coat off of him.

I can hear the sigh of relief as he finishes his poo.  I can also her the laughter as one of the Home Depot customers walks out to his car.

I tell myself, I have on all my clothes.  It could have been worse.

The Morning Routine

Every morning we have the same routine: Arrive at 7:30 am out of coat. I get settled into my office or the main library as Her Royal Highness gets settled in or has students come to say hello.

Last Wednesday, I was working in the main library and had HRH connected to my chair with her bone nearby. I always have a big crowd of kids in the library in the morning. HRH was playing with the bone, which involved a great deal of rolling around on the floor, flipping over and then in deep despair, howling at the temerity of the bone not falling apart as she wished. When she did this, Carter, who was sitting two tables over leaped to his feet and cried out,

"I've got this!" and ran over to HRH carrying only his chemistry book. Then he proceeded to calm down HRH for the next 20 minutes until classes started at 8 am, all the while continuing to study his chemistry (our students are compassionate and focussed! 8-).

Here's a shot of the two of them. HRH actually did calm down. She doesn't do that for most people. Carter has the touch.