Saturday, August 20, 2016

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Talking While Pooping

I work at a pre-k to grade 12 school and I take Bassett in to school with me on M-W-F.  If you have been following this blog at all, you know that I have had a very close relationship with poo in all its myriad forms.  I have not run across this particular problem before.

Usually, I try to make sure that students are spared the sight of Bassett doing his business.  I know when the pooing hours are and I have poo places to take him that are set away from delicate sensibilities.

But sometimes, a dog doesn't want to poo during the regular pooing hour.  Sometimes, a dog holds it all in for a while.  On Friday before an Admissions appearance and photo shoot, I noticed a certain look which belies a fateful turn of events.

I take Bassett outside pretty quickly and we rushed over to some pine straw where the poo would be easy to pick up.  Bassett immediately turned three times in a circle and started to poop.  Almost at the same time (this being lower division book sale day), I heard a small girl child call out:

"Is this a good time for me to pet Bassett?"

Mind you, Bassett is STILL pooping, big horse poops. The girl's mom, instead of saying "Of course not, walk on sweet girl and avert your eyes!" She says, "Just wait a second...Ooops, I think he has some poop stuck to his butt."

OMG! Could it get more embarrassing?!

Yes, yes it could, because to get the dangling poo-horse turd to release, Bassett comes out of the pine straw and onto the sidewalk, right next to ME! I have a bag on my hand and am frozen.

Should I grab the poo and yank it out of his butt in front of the little girl?  Would that be traumatic?  His butt is pointed away from her.  Or should I wait and see if it will naturally fall out.  Give gravity a chance.

Please work, gravity!

PLOP.

I have never been so happy to see a piece of poo hit the floor before.  I scooped it up in the bag and added the other poo and then threw it into the trash.  I wiped my hands with the sani-cloth and turned to the mom and child.

"Bassett would be happy to say hello." And so she got to pet Bassett, who was very attentive and friendly.  Funny how that happens after a good poo.

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