Tic Tac Toe and Tequila

Saturday was our puppy meeting at Largo Central Park.  I don't have many photos as Fred was at home repairing plaster and painting the hallway and I had sole control over Captain Crazypants.

Anyway, we arrived at the park just fine.  But, I have to tell you.  These monthly meetings are becoming a a bit stressful for me, especially if I go by myself.  Jam and his nuggets are really having a testosterone party and he is quite drunk with hormones.  So, coming to a meeting is like bringing an alcoholic to Tijuana, leading him into a bar, sitting him on a barstool where there are shots of tequila lined up on the bar and then screaming, "Don't Drink!"

The alcoholic will find it tough to listen to you.

So, I bring Jam (and his raging hormones) to the park where lush females and unneutered males will be gathered to challenge his sensibilities.

I'll just go ahead and say it.  We weren't in the circle of acceptance.  We tried, but we got booted pretty fast.

Sigh. We did obedience, then went by the train and at the end of the meeting we played Tic Tac Toe.  I had Jam sit out the first game.  Yellows won.

Everyone was looking at us.  Jam had to play the next game.  Could he do it and not completely muck it up?

You know, at some point, you just have to say, fine.  OK.  I will be the one with the insane dog.  I walked  Captain Crazypants over to the box and he laid down.

And he stayed.

OMG.

Cheryl and Jam walking to Tic Tac Toe box Photo by Michele Reese.

Cheryl asking Jam to stay in a down on Tic Tac Toe box Photo by Michele Reese. 

Jam maintaining the stay on Tic Tac Toe box Photo by Michele Reese. 

Where's my tequila?  I need a drink!

We Got An Award! 8-)

Erin and her new puppy Rob just gave us the award above, which was very sweet. Accordingly, we need to list 7 things about Her Royal Highness (HRH) Berkeley to accept the award. Here goes:

1. HRH does the commands she knows with military precisions. Her sits are plopped down precisely. Her switch command swerved over severely. They make me happy.
2. HRH is a tail wagging fool. We also call her The Wiggler because of it.
3. HRH can strain the patience of a saint. Stay? What was that? No, I didn't hear that command. Stay? You said what? I'm sorry, say it again, this time louder.
4. HRH loves to steal paper napkins, but she is a sneaky snake. There is no snatch and grab. No, she will sidle up next to you and gently take a corner and nibble, nibble, nibble until you reach down to use your napkin and it's no longer there.
5. HRH watches TV. She loves the opening credits to Madmen. However, ultimately, their treatment of women might cause her to bite or at least growl at Don Draper. Although, she might just settle for only watching the scenes with Joanie.
6. HRH is amusing. We got her a gigantic nylabone and now she growls at it because it doesn't fall apart like she wants it to. In addition, she also throws it far away from her in disgust and then cries and looks at me to bring it back to her. And she also does forward rolls over the bone accompanied with a myriad of hums, cries and barks much to the delight of the students in the library.
7. HRH recognizes my footsteps.

All in all she is her own dog. A completely different personality and a force of nature. There is another blog that I think is amazing and I am passing this blog award on to and that is guide dog puppy Joey and his family. Go on over to his blog and read all about him!

The Importance of the Stay Command

Last Monday I had an appointment with a lady parts doctor. Monday being one of my bring Berkeley to school days meant that she was coming to the doctor's office with me. Not a problem. She has been much more mature since her puppy camp with John and Angel and seems to be barking less and not being so autocratic.

Good for us!

This was a new doctor, so I had to go to their concierge services to be checked in first. Berkeley went into a down under without a problem and went right to sleep for the whole interview. Good girl.

Then we went up the elevator and into the waiting room where we waited patiently to be called. The nurse looked at us a bit funny, but decided that she would choose to ignore the dog at my side completely and made no mention of her AT ALL. I thought this a bit strange, but, hey, whatever gets you through the day. Berkeley decided to snub her as well and when we hit the examining room she did a down under the chair and a stay and went to sleep.

When the doctor arrived, he was delighted to see Berkeley and asked all sorts of questions about her. She poked her head out and thumped her tail a few times (she is quite the tail wagger), but ultimately decided that our discussion was boring (read: didn't involve her) and went back to sleep.

At this point the doctor stands and gets one of those full coverage (ha ha!) paper sheets and says I need to take off my skirt and he will come back to do the examination. Berkeley is still in a down stay under the chair and is still asleep, so I disrobe and jog over to the medical table with the sheet around me sarong style. The examining table is about 10 feet away from where Berkeley is sleeping under the chair. Berkeley is directly in front of me and to my back is the door where the doctor will come through. Now that I am half naked and on the table I am starting to realize that I have made a huge error in judgment but am unsure if I have time to correct it or even how I can correct it. Will she STAY? Do I have time to jump off? Should I jump off? Is she deep asleep? Should I test it?

Before I can try anything, the doctor walks in and Berkeley comes ALIVE!

"People! People have entered my realm!" She emerges from under her chair. I half stand on the examining table and get a blast of cold air on my bare behind. I sit down quickly.

"BERKELEY! STAY!" She barely registers that I am there. After all, I am half naked and nearly shouting, she is Her Royal Highness. Why would she deign to see a naked crazy person yelling commands when there are professionals in the room?

She walks towards the doctor. "Stay!"

"It's alright. She's pretty." I gnash my teeth. Did I ask if she was pretty? NO! I have no panties on! I can't get off this table! I can't do anything.

"Berkeley, come here." That she recognizes. She finally looks at me and walks over. I bend over, carefully mind you, and grab for her leash. However, the examining table is REALLY TALL. This is a bad idea. I see this. The lady parts doctor sees it and so does the unseeing nurse who still is trying to act like there isn't a dog in the room.

"Just let her run free," my doctor says.

Ah, what the hell. This will be an interesting examination.

Note: There will be no photos for this post.