Monday, March 9, 2015

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A Bag of Poo and a Bad Decision

A Time to Poo

I had to get some dinner.  My idea was to go to Whole Foods and pick up something from the buffet.  My only hesitation was Corky.

Corky is relaxing in the wheelwell on the drive home.
Corky generally doesn't poo at school.  He saves it for 5 pm at home.  It was nearing 5 pm and we were not at home.  We were pulling up to Whole Foods.

It was the Pooing Hour.

Corky and I got out of the car and I walked him over to a grassy median where I tried to get him to busy.  He wandered around sniffing.  He finally peed halfheartedly and sniffed a bit more.  I knew there was more in there. I stood my ground.

Corky turned in a half circle and then back again.  Aha! Got him. He did a half squat and then shift and started to poo.  Success! I was so stoked.  I got out my poo bags. They were electric yellow and could be seen from the moon.

"Good boy, Corky!" Corky wagged his tail.  He looked at the yellow bag and looked away.  It may have hurt his eyes.  They were bright.  I tied the bag into a knot to prevent any stink from escaping and began to walk toward Whole Foods to throw it away in one of their trash cans.

Now, here is where it gets a bit tricky.  As you approach Whole Foods, there is an eating area off to the right.  I certainly didn't want to walk up to that area and wave my big bag of poo around with diners: "Hey! Got some poo here! Look!  Does this make you want to eat your food?!"

Fortunately, I had parked to the left and my approach was away from the diners.  I was hiding the bright yellow bag (haha, as if you could hide that bag) by my side.  I started to look for trash cans.

Nothing. Not one trash can.

Really, Whole Foods? No trash cans?
A shot of a Whole Foods shopping bag.

I'm standing by a planter with a big bright yellow bag of poo.  What now?  Take it into the store? Certainly not! I can't even take it close to the door.  IT'S POO! LOTS OF POO.

What store doesn't have trash cans?

OK.  I set my bag of dog poo down on the ground and say to anyone listening, "I will be back for this bag of poo," and I walk away.

I leave the yellow bag of poo and Corky and I walk into the store.  I did turn to look and it glowed back at me accusingly. POO, POO.

There was nothing to be done.

A Bad Decision

And that wasn't my bad decision.  My bad decision was settling for a basket and not a cart.  I thought the basket would be easier to maneuver.

I walked Corky into the buffet area and got a wet wipe out of his coat and wiped my hands off. I didn't want to touch anything without cleaning my hands.  That done, I went over to the plates.

I grabbed two plates and pulled them apart.  I dropped them into the basket.  I didn't notice that the plates didn't sit flat.  I grabbed two tops and spent three minutes trying to get them apart while Corky tried to sniff at them and at the basket.

Then we walked over to the buffet area.  Corky was very good.  He didn't lunge or jerk around.  He was very calm and sweet.  I quickly realized that when I filled a plate that it wouldn't sit flat in the basket.

Really, Whole Foods? What good are your baskets?

So now I am staring at Corky, my useless basket, my filled plate and my unfilled plate.  How will I fill the unfilled plate and how will I get both plates to the checkout counter?

Close-up of Corky looking sweet.
Finally, I got Corky to stay and put the basket in an out of the way spot and put the filled plate in an out of the way spot and filled up my second plate.  Then I stacked the two plates on top of each other and Corky and I ran very fast to the checkout area.

Not an elegant solution, but it worked.

Everything was put in a paper bag and now I had a handle.  I left and picked up my yellow bag of poo  (which was still there!!) on the way out, which I carried home to throw away in my trash can.  

Corky 1
Poo 1
Cheryl 1
Whole Foods -3

1 comment:

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