Oh, My Poor Ego!

I was so excited today.  As I was walking to convocation, the head of admissions stopped me and said that she wanted to take a photo of me and Jam after convo.  They had a photographer out and were taking photos for admissions materials.

"We should be here (by the benches), but if we aren't we will stop by the library." She said.

I was so excited.  I had never been in any admissions photos, I don't think any of the library staff had been.  This was so exciting!  They always chose other teachers for that kind of thing. I was thinking about my outfit and that my hair actually came out nice and curly today.  Convo went by in a blur.  Such is the curse of a huge head of celebrity.

As I walked to where they were taking photos, Jam saw Mrs. Iglehart and her ambassador dog Jessie in the distance and started to bark.  We waited until he calmed down before walking any closer to the photographer.  

"Hi, I'm CD."  I extended my hand to the photographer.  

"Hi, I'm..." I wasn't listening because Jam pulled and I turned to get him under control again.  I smiled back at the photographer.  "Can you have the dog sit right over here with his back to the students?  Not too much in the sun though."

"Oh."  I paused and looked down at Jam.  He was resplendent in his labrador glory. So handsome. "Of course I can.  He sits beautifully."

Jam, sitting on Stephanie's rug when she was puppy sitting him.

I had Jam do a sit stay, which he did perfectly and of course he was a handsome boy.  I remained off to the side with my hand out saying, "Stay. Stay."  

Inside my head I was saying, "Fool, fool."

Great Expectations, Final Chapter

Final Chapter

Years passed, and Willow suffered through more puppies, though with a mindset always pointed to the future and to a greater purpose, always preparing them for the tough life ahead while remembering one central point: like children, all puppies deserve to be happy.

On more than one occasion she wondered about her old friend Jam and how he was doing as a guide dog. She allowed herself to swell up with pride, knowing that his success was her success, even if no one else would ever know.

Then one day, while resting in her favorite spot, a warm set of stones near the fish ponds, eyes closed and dreaming of things past, she felt a slight tickle on her nose. There was her old friend Jam, ready to tour the yard as though he had never left.

Great Expectations, Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nothing was more familiar, more welcome, than that rush of adrenaline, and nothing was better than sharing the moment with your best friend, sniffing in that common scent, twitching and bracing to jump up together and run when the time was right to best surprise the squirrel and provide for him the most terrifying moment of his existence.

But Willow realized, in just that instant, that this game could not continue as before, not if she hoped to ever prepare Jam for his future of great expectations. With a sigh she turned away and slumped to the ground, feeling the full weight and dispair of her decision and leaving Jam perplexed as to what to do next.

Great Expectations, Chapter 4

Chapter 4

On the notion of Sit, Jam had mixed feelings, not about its meaning but about its intent, because it never resolved to a better condition or mastery of the moment. No, it seemed to have no purpose at all except to earn praise and move things along to a desired result--to go outside or to get some food or to engage in any other activity not performed better by sitting beforehand, or after, as far as he could figure.

Still, he knew the word from his puppyhood and responded to it reflexively. Willow knew a few other such words, and she went through each of them twice or three times, with Jam responding as he should, until at the end the two dogs sat and stared at each other in silence, not sure what to do next.

Then a distraction appeared. Squirrel?

---

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Great Expectations, Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In no time Jam had become Jam again, the notions of his future life already evaporated from his mind. But Willow could not put aside the frog's words because somehow he had known part of the truth. He had known what happens every summer; that her companions always leave home to pursue greater expectations while she does not.

So when Jam returned to her with a playful nudge, Willow resolved to tell him the truth, at least to the meager extent that she knew it--she had only seen Bingo once since he left two years ago (and he had not been forthcoming about his new situation) and she had not seen Berkeley at all (and did not regret the fact). Could it be that the frog actually spoke the truth, as fantastical as it seemed? If so, even if true only in a small portion, she knew what must be done.

"You'll be going to school soon, a very demanding school," Willow said, though Jam's attention had already shifted to activity in the koi pond. She then told Jam what she imagined about his future, interpreting what the late frog had said (if such things are really possible), about how Jam would have more responsibility than seems wise to give to any dog, particularly to one with such a capricious nature.

She devised a plan to help prepare him for the future. "In short," she said to him with a sigh, "you must become a common dog before you can be an uncommon one."

On hearing the details, Jam rose up and agreed to take seriously Willow's new plan, where she would play the future headmaster and Jam the attentive pupil.

"Were do we begin?" he asked.

Willow considered this for a moment, realizing that she had no idea about where to begin, or to end for that matter.

"Sit!" she said decisively.

---

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Great Expectations, Chapter 2

By Charles Dickens
Chapter 2

And so the frog continued, now speaking directly to Jam with a certain impatience, as if he considered Jam a fool for the look of breathless curiosity and surprise on his face. "It is considered that you must be better educated, in accordance with your altered position, and that you will be alive to the importance and necessity of at once entering on that advantage."

As the details emerged about the nature of his future life, his training and his expectations, Jam was increasingly lost in the mazes of his future fortunes, now fully removed from the adventure that he and Willow had pursued just a few seconds earlier.

Willow, on the other hand, fell into a kind of stupor and attempted to close her ears, attempted to wind back the clock just a few minutes and continue on to the pond with her friend Jam as if this frog had not appeared and his terrible words not spoken.

The frog continued to speak until Willow had reached her limit; she lunged forward in a flash, her white teeth severing the toad in mid-sentence and leaving his dismembered legs twitching on the stone patio floor.

Only seconds after it was over, Jam could scarcely remember the event--what the frog had said, how the frog had been eaten, or even if there had been a frog at all.

Great Expectations, Chapter 1

By Charles Dickens
Chapter 1
Willow and Jam took a perfectly ordinary tour of the pond, and as usual with all the wonder and amazement of seeing it for the first time, when they came upon something truly new and unusual: a talking frog that did not seem at all afraid or tempted to retreat.

Startled by such a brave and small animal, the two dogs sat back in amazement, and their wonder only grew when the frog began to speak.

"Hear now, pay attention, you two," said the frog throwing out his tongue impulsively and bringing it quickly back.

"Bear in mind, will you?" the frog said to Willow, as if forgiving her something and then pointing his webby thumb at Jam, "that my business is with him."

"I am instructed to communicate to him," the frog continued, "that he will soon be removed from his present sphere of life and from this place, and be brought up as a gentleman,--in a word, as a young fellow of great expectations."

Jam and Willow gasped, and looked at one another...