|Jammy is sitting in front of Christina in the library workroom with his head tilted to the right.|
He wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he knew something was up. I was a bit stressed about the whole deal. Alex and I drove to Wendy's and when we got there, we found only one person working the cash register. All I needed to do was go up and ask for Charlie, but since there were three people ahead of me in line, I could very well barge up and say, "I just need Charlie, now, get outta my way!" and have them get all up in my face about cutting in line and being there first. Especially when I had a student with me.
So, I patiently stood in line. Right. I stood in line, but NOT patiently. I was toe tapping and looking around and trying to figure out which person back there was Charlie, because the minute I identified him, I was going to laser beam him over to me. Seriously, what was he thinking putting only one person on the counter at lunchtime?
And then the VERY WORST THING HAPPENS: coupon lady appears. I was next in line. I was so close. There was this blonde in front of me and she had just started to order when her friend comes out of the bathroom and steps up next to her. (Oh yes, she did, and her purse was big and filled with coupons.) The blonde turns to her friend and says, "What do you want?"
Well, I wanted to poke her friend's eyes out. But that was before her friend pulled out the ginormous wad of coupons. The old lady behind the register, who you know is on her third day at Wendy's, lets out a little moan. "I don't know how to do coupons!"
"Oh. My. Freaking. God." But I say this inside my head where a little mini me is screaming and pulling out big tufts of hair. "I just need to talk to Charlie! I don't even need any food!!!! Where the hell is Charlie?!!!"
So, three-day-old cashier says, "Charlie, I need some help! I don't know how to do coupons." And this tall man comes over and I try to laser beam him with my eyes, but it doesn't work. The coupon lady has him in her talons. She is throwing all this coupons on the counter and talking in coupon gibberish. It's like Klingon for Trekkies only you get food as a reward.
Sure enough, Charlie starts punching buttons and things beep and three-day-old cashier watches with her big eyes as it goes in one ear and out the other. Charlie looks up and I laser beam him again.
"Hi, I'm from Berkeley. I have the 200 frosties."
"Oh yeah. They are out back. Have you paid yet?" I look at coupon lady. She looks back at me and offers me a coupon. "No thank you. No, I haven't yet."
"Well, let's do that and get you out back to get your frosties."
So we pay and go out back and he has 7 boxes of frosties to go in my Honda fit. Mind you, we brought 3 coolers to put the frosties in, because we were told to bring coolers. But the Honda Fit will fit a full size llama in it, I kid you not!
|Photo of a Honda fit with a llama in the back seat. The head is poked out the window.|
Anyway, back to the story, we here we have three coolers and 7 boxes of frosties and the frosties are melting and they are all very precariously placed in the boxes, not tightly placed or snugly placed, but loosely placed with room to move and dance around. And did I mention that the tops are pretty open? So they can slosh out if they feel like it? Yea. Great.
I'm really relaxed about this whole thing. Oh, and Alex. He's about 6'5". No worries. We'll make it. You know how I drive right? I can handle this. I can drive really slow and take turns in a calm manner.
We make it to the school. We sell the frosties. I make my meeting. We select SLPs. The upshot is that Jammy is without a walk for a long time. I am bushed and completely stressed and drained. So when I take him back, I just go into my office with him. I go into my office, because there is a speaker in the library who is currently speaking to 65 fifth graders on how her family emigrated from Cuba to America, which is a serious subject.
I sit in my chair and I lean over to Jam and I reach down and start to remove his coat. This signals to Jam that play time as started. And since he has been cooped up ALL DAY in the office, why should he spend one minute more in MY OFFICE? So, he takes off. And because he is a big boy and doesn't run off, I didn't have him on a tie down.
SO HE CAN.
AND HE DOES.
Do you know about the puppy crazies? Labs are particularly infected with them. They will kick up their heels and then it's like their back legs spin in circles they move so fast. Jam was GONE. He was naked and gone. I leaped up and was out in the library and every high schooler was staring out towards where the speaker was because of course, that's where Jam went.
He ran right to the back of the library. Past all the high school kids and the tables, past the books. Into the second study area and there was the big open space with 65 fifth graders. Here was the big open space for Jam to do some wheelies.
And so he did.
Several of them. To the delight of every one of the 65 fifth graders who had turned around to watch him pop a wheelie.
By this time, I had made it back to where he was and he saw me. Jam blew past me to the left and went through the Spanish teacher's legs (his wife, a professor at USF was our speaker). Jam danced around the tables and weaved in and out of the chairs as students and library personnel tried to reach out and grab him. All us not saying a word, in deference to the speaker, who was still speaking.
It all came to an end for Jammy when he got close to Clay, a junior, who knows all of Jam's tricks. Clay reached out and grabbed him and caught him.
There was a huge sigh of relief.
And a lesson learned. No matter what. Never skip the morning walk!!!