I Want a New Drug

Huey Lewis and the News sang about it (I Want A New Drug):

I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that won't make me feel too bad
One that won't make me fee too good

Just when we thought he had fought through and battled the croc addiction into submission we find out he is into heavy stuff! Yep. ALPACA.

Here's a photo of the addictive alpaca slippers that are blowing our boy's mind. Furred on the outside rim and completely furred inside, these lovely slippers still retain the scent of alpaca AND the lovely sweaty scent of mom's winter feet.

It's June. It's hot. Alapaca slippers aren't worn in June. Nor are they worn in May. Yet in May I caught him with one in his bed right before we went to sleep.

"No, No!" I cried. I grabbed the slipper. Then I shook it under his nose. "NO." I substituted a kong that was sitting not three feet away. Then, muttering, I walked with the slipper over to the walk in closet, which does not have a door, and went to the open shelving and stuck the slipper in on the winter scarves slippers shelf (second from bottom).

A week later, Bingo is in bed with the slipper. This time I confiscate it and give him the hairy eyeball. Where are you getting these slippers you naughty boy? Several days go by and as I am brushing my teeth, I happen to go into the bedroom and catch Bingo coming out of the walk-in closet with a slipper in his mouth! He freezes.

"AHA! NO!" He drops the slipper. I walk over and pat him on the head for dropping the slipper. So he's been raiding the closet this whole time. Smart, addicted, poor, addicted boy.

"Fred, he's been going into the closet and getting my slippers off the shelf this whole time."

Fred says the other day Bingo brought a slipper downstairs and tried to become invisible by walking very, very slowly. Evidently he thought if he moved slowly enough Fred might forget he saw him. Fred corrected him.

Since Bingo isn't Amy Winehouse and can't refuse rehab, we will be storing his alpaca heroin in an inaccessible place.

This slow moving trick must be universal because I just found a cute animated short where dog in it moved very slowly, just like Bingo did. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!