Wednesday, August 17, 2011

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Cheerleaders Redux

When I had Bingo, I made the mistake of walking him without his coat past the JV cheerleaders.

I was mobbed. Well, they didn't care about me. Bingo was mobbed.

Guess what? It happened again today.

It was late, I was tired and I knew that Jammers needed to pee, so I walked out the back way (not my usual way). I figured he could busy on the grass of the mound on the way to junior parking lot, since we had to park out there because of Middle Division Book Sale Day.

As I left the library and walked down the side of the building, I noticed that the JV cheerleaders were practicing on the mound. Had they noticed us? We were walking behind a screen of plants, but soon enough we would be out in the open.

We rounded the corner and headed into the open hallway. Jam gleamed like the Holy Grail. I could see all children under the age of 16 turning in our direction. We neared the small stairs.

Jam, sit. Good boy! Forward, down. Jam, sit. Good boy! He was trying to veer into the plants. He was filled with pee. Hold on, little grail of pee. Soon we will be at the grass. I looked over at the cheerleaders. They were on the other side of the mound and seemed to still be doing poses.

Safe, I think.

Busy, busy! Jam starts to wander around the grass to choose a spot. This might be a good spot to tell about Jam's predilection for taking a Superman pee stance. While other dogs might lean forward or hunker down or lift a leg (guide dog puppies are discouraged from lifting their leg), Jam has chosen another route. He stops mid-stride and pees.

Yep. Mid-stride. Imagine Superman leaping into the sky...

and then peeing. That would be Jam. He has one foot forward, one back and his head is lifted to the sun as if to say, I am the Sun God! Watch me pee!

So, here I wait for the Sun God to pee while the JV cheerleaders are finishing up their practice. Jam is taking his sweet time, because, YOU CAN'T RUSH A GOD WHEN HE'S PEEING.

Just when he finishes up and I think I might be able to slink off into the hallway, I hear a low roar, well, more of a high pitched, OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!

Yes. They are coming. For the Sun God.

We are mobbed.

And this is why I love cheerleaders: in the middle of the mob scene, I say ONCE, "Ok, I think we need to line up single file to pet him."


Single file line of 15 JV cheerleaders, who one by one file by and love on Jam.

It is, indeed, Jam's World.

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