The Student Library Proctors have been doing chicken biscuit sales from Chik-Fil-A because they give schools a deep discount and you can earn about $300 from one break sale. Quite a big difference. However, there are several problems with chicken biscuits:
- Chicken biscuits are like crack. Kids go nuts for them. There is practically a Who Concert mass stampede out the door of the auditorium to get to the mall to buy tickets to get a biscuit. Honestly, we have about 15 students working the chicken biscuit sale and we are all VERY TENSE and NERVOUS when we hear the pounding feet of 500 students coming to get 350 biscuits.
- Each biscuit comes in its own wrapper, which some students wad up and throw on the ground. So there is a protocol that requires our biscuit sellers to go around and make sure the ground is picked up, so we can have another sale. If it is too messy, no more biscuit sales. My theory is that the lard in the biscuit temporarily knocks out any thought processes and causes an almost epileptic jerking of the arm with the first bite. Usually, the student has the wrapper in his hand with this first bite and involuntarily crushes the wrapper when he has this temporary seizure. After swallowing the first bite, his brain comes back on line, the hand releases, and the wrapper drops to the ground, without the student even realizing what is going on and that he had anything in his hand. He continues to walk and eat his biscuit in a pleasure filled daze.
- Evidently the lard also affects proper chewing as great hunks of bread may fall out of students mouths and land on the ground creating a landscape of breadcrumbs that would be useful in finding Hansel and Gretel if they wandered aimlessly around in circles! Seriously, how can that much biscuit fall on the ground? It literally covers the floor.
- We have to go get the biscuits and bring them back, which means someone's car is going to smell like fried chicken for a day.