We are not sure how we have found ourselves in a "Princess and the Pauper" scenario with the Artful Dodger, though perhaps that sobriquet is well earned. While we appraised the canine of the house a companionable enough lady-in-waiting, we nonetheless let our general distress be known early on by giving the caretaker the silent treatment in matters of elimination until we deigned to "leave a message" in the new Fresh Market in St. Petersburg, inadvertently reminding the hoi polloi that no matter how fresh or trendy they deem their comestibles, it all comes out the same in the end -- and advertently reminding our inferiors that royalty will be attended to!
We also were not shy about expressing our dissatisfaction with our private rooms despite managing to sleep quite well through the night.
Perhaps it was the extra hour of beauty rest resulting from the Colonies' tampering with the Gregorian calendar, but we find ourselves to be in much better spirits today, carrying ourselves with the utmost manners and poise and only displaying our flighty side when rudely confronted with a cage full of fluttering finches in a local "pet"
shop. Although we do not wish to be seen in our present circumstances, we fear the paparazzi have already spotted us communicating with our dear Angel. Alas, if only they were more concerned about remedying the situation than documenting it, this royal nightmare might end.
One hopes that the guttersnipe left in your care has not totally destroyed the palace.
(as ghosted by John Bauer)