Friday, June 8, 2012

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It's Right Snakey Out There

Fred's mother, when looking into dark, mysterious undergrowth, would say, "Looks right snakey in there."  Meaning in essence, she wasn't setting foot in that space as it was a possible snake pit.

Lately, we have begun to suspect that Jam has actually seen a snake. Or seen something that looked "right snakey" and doesn't want to step foot out in the side yard again.

At first he wouldn't step off the porch.  He would go to the edge, peer out into the distance and you could hear him say it.

"No Ma'am.  I will not step off this porch!  It is right snakey out there!"  

But gradually, after a bit, he would step off the porch and down to the side of the yard.

"No! I will not step off the stones! It looks right snakey out there!"

This attitude of course will not stand.  He must be able to walk around and go whenever and wherever we need him to go.  Wet or dry, he needs to do his business.

This morning, Fred and Jam had a small battle of wills.  Jam had determined that the edge of the deck was as far as he would go and he was unwilling to do his business at all.  This was after a full evening's sleep and breakfast, Jam was chock full of "business" so to speak.

Fred brought him inside.  After about half an hour, Fred tried again, only this time, he got the leash and tried to take him through the gate and into the front yard for some busy work.

Nothing doing.  Those orifices were closed for business.  Fred waited an hour and they went out again.


"It's snakey out there."  Jam hopped back onto the deck and looked longingly at the door inside.

A little later, I decided to try and walk him around the block.  We went out the gate and through the yard and over to the neighbor's yard.  It was now about 9:30 am.  Jam was bursting at the seams with poo.

We got to the tall, wet grass and Jam stepped out onto it delicately.  He stopped and stared off intently.  

"It's right snakey out there! No grass for me!" and he hopped onto the sidewalk.  Seriously?  There was no snake.  None.  Just wet grass.  I, however, had an evil plan.  On the other side of the sidewalk is more grass.  It was the neighbor's actual green, green lawn.  And there was a green lawn space between two oak trees that are bordered with oyster plants.  Jam immediately tried to jump into the oyster plants.  

I positioned myself firmly in the center of the lawn.  Equidistant from each bed.  The leash just reached the beginning of each bed, but it wouldn't allow Jam poo access to the planting beds.

Jam ran from side to side trying to contain his poo, all the while trying to figure out a way to poo on the oyster plants and not on the snakey grass.  Finally, it was too much.  The poo would not be contained and he had to let it out.  He did 5, count them 5, twirls and then a big poo.

I think I heard a sigh.

But later, when we got back out on the porch, it still seemed a bit snakey to him.

So, we will continue this desensitization plan until he is completely over this strange sensitivity to wet grass.

Or snakes.

It just might be right snakey out there. ;-)

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