|Guide dog puppy in training Jam sitting at food court table.|
|Guide dog puppy in training Jam sitting in front of noisy arcade games.|
We were still making our way around the mall with our older dog group when I happened to notice Jam's butt. Frankly, I look at his butt a lot just to make sure he isn't holding anything back. And sure enough, he had the gopher butt.
"Fred! He has to poo!" Fred started to speed walk towards Sears with Jam. Sylvia followed with Denny. Fred and Jam were really going and made it to the doors without any problems. They made it outside and Jam took the opportunity to water some more plants. I pointed out a spot that was wider than the small median where they currently were and it was mostly mulch and a couple of flowers, so this would be a different type of ground on which to relieve himself.
Jam and Fred and I walked over to it and Jam hopped up the curve and started to twirl. It seemed a bit odd to me, that a dog who is normally really concerned about things "being right snakey" would just hop up on some strange median without even looking at it. But he did. He didn't look or smell or even take into consideration that there might be little flowers that he was crushing (he wasn't).
He poo'ed and then he did a crazy thing. He did a little leap, a leap high into the air and landed by Fred. Then he stuck out his back leg, which was now the color of night and started to shake it violently. You see, Jam had twirled and stopped to poo on top of an anthill and those ants were extremely opposed to being covered in excrement. Or having their house stopped up with big logs of well, you get my point. So to express their displeasure they had run screaming out of their hill and raced up his paw.
"Oh my God!" This is me, not taking any photos of his paw and swiping off ants. I can't understand those photojournalists who are the only ones on the scene when someone is going to set themselves on fire and they just stand there and shoot film. Really? Get a blanket and stop, drop and roll that crazy nutjob!
"Do you see his leg?" This is Fred, equally discomposed and frantic knocking ants off his paw as Jam is trying to bite the little bastards as they are trying to bite him.
I went in between his toes and looked for every little ant I could find and we got them all.
Now Jam will never poo again!
Update: Jam has pooped. I'm so relieved. It seems our backyard is safe now and he is perfectly willing to walk around all parts of it once again. He is also willing to relieve himself on any and all spots in the yard. I'm glad I am not a mind reader. I would think a mind reader would get trapped in the tangled mess that is Jam's brain.