Saturday, April 17, 2010

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Yoga Bingo

By Fred
Bingo made his second trip to yoga class yesterday. In case you've never been, a typical yoga class is like a typical preschool class: everyone has a mat, you sit on the floor, and you get to take a nap.

Ethereal music plays in the background--not stuff you normally would listen to. It's calibrated to take your mind off of the pain you are suffering for twisting your body into a pretzel and for standing on your head. Of course, everyone suffers in silence so as not to disturb anyone else's suffering.

Some people like to meditate during class. I generally think about what I'm going to have for dinner.

Typical yoga class music

Would Bingo, I wondered, be a good boy in this unusually calm and quiet atmosphere? Before class began, I told everyone that we would leave if he became disruptive. Even if we are lucky and he takes a nap, I warned them, he can be a loud snorer. Not a very positive attitude on my part.

Actually he was a pretty good boy except for getting into a woman's purse and for hinting that he might pull the curtains off the wall. Mostly he sat on his mat and was very good. Someone even suggested that I was a dog-whisperer. Dog-whisperer? Ha! Even if I did whisper, Bingo wouldn't listen.

Everything went well until I walked away from my mat and went to the wall to risk breaking my neck. Bingo was on a lead and couldn't follow me, so he got agitated and he actually barked (he very rarely does that). This caused the whole class to laugh, which caused him to bark some more. It was all my fault.

So we left. Oh well, they needed a laugh.

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