Sophie's Choice

Last week I dreamed I met Bingo's lifetime partner. He was in his 30s and in the military. I woke with a very happy feeling.

Jan had a dream that he was paired with a young boy with special needs. She also woke with happy feeling.

But the last report card didn't tell the whole story. It left out some key facts. Bingo was possessive of the water dish and wouldn't let others drink when he was drinking. He didn't want to share his toys. He growled. He would sit by himself in the yard and when the other dogs came to visit he would warn them off by growling. They called it possessiveness of personal space.

Growling isn't allowed. Nor is not sharing. Bingo had reached a point of no return and he walked right on by it. On Saturday we got the news:

"Bingo has been dropped from the program."

I don't think I really understood what he was saying to me. How could that be? I had a photograph. I had a dream. Then he started talking about possessiveness and not sharing and I wanted to scream at him that he had the wrong dog because my Bingo would never do that, but my throat was all full of tears and I couldn't see and there was a ringing in my ears. So I nodded and I walked away with Fred and Berkeley.

"What do we do?"

Then we had to decide what to do. I had been totally at peace with giving Bingo away to someone as a guide dog. That was his purpose. But what I hadn't envisioned was a situation where we would be faced with giving him away to someone as a family dog. I loved him. I wanted him. I didn't want anyone else to have him. I couldn't imagine giving him away, but we felt that we couldn't give him the attention that he deserved and continue to puppy raise at the same time. Three dogs is just too many. Bingo deserves to be the only dog.

So we made the very hard decision to let him go. He will be put up for adoption.

I thought you all should know. SEGD said the adoption lady would find him a good home and would ask them to stay in contact with us and let us know how he is doing. This, for us, was a real Sophie's choice. I really wanted him to be a guide dog. But I know he will succeed as a lovable dog. He was always first rate at that.

Now if I could just stop crying.